#crazed idea associations

[anthurak]

Do you ever just have just like… completely random idea associations to form something that is both totally bonkers and utterly awesome?

You see, over the past couple days there are two things of particular note that I have been doing:

A: Building a Yugioh deck in Master Duel that I have dubbed that ‘What if Alexis Rhodes actually got to be the awesome fucking badass she deserved to be’ deck.

It’s a mix of Cyber Angel, Herald and Drytron focused on getting out badass ritual monsters like Cyber Angel Vrash, Herald of Ultimateness and the giant Dyrtron mechanical space dragons. Basically the kind of deck Arc-V Alexis could probably use to pound Yuri, his dragon and his smug Melvin-wannabe ass face into the dirt.

B: Watching the Bowser vs. Eggman Death Battle episode a few times, and specifically doing a post on how I found the dynamics of Team Eggman through the fight particularly interesting.

So now, after having been idly listening to the battle music after having been playing this deck a bit, I have now found myself with a particular… vision in my head:

Alexis Rhodes, commanding an ARMY of Celestial Cyber Angels, Heavenly Fairy Heralds and Giant Mechanical Space Dragons. Specifically in an epic battle against Zarc and his gimmicky gaggle of extra-deck dragons.

As in, it’s barely even a ‘duel’. Like Alexis throws down the Drytron Fafnir field spell and just starts commanding her forces from her GIANT DRAGON SPACESHIP, which can also transform into a mech. And is also crewed by various faeries, lesser angels and Cyber Girls.

And it’s all Cyber Angels, Heralds and Drytrons battling with the Dimensional Dragons and their followers. The ‘lesser’ Drytron modules going up against an army of Supreme King Darkwurms, the Cyber Angels battling the various ‘Magicians’ of the Supreme King, the various Light Heralds flying around providing support, Drytron Meteonis Draconids and Quadrantids battling the Four Dimensional Dragons and Drytron Meteonis DAD ducking it out with Supreme King Z-ARC.

Which ends with Cyber Angel Vrash wiping out all the Extra Deck dragons, Herald of the Diviner combining all the heralds into Herald of Ultimateness and cheekily negating literally EVERYTHING Zarc does in response, Meteonis Draconids clearing out all of Zarc’s remaining Special Summoned monsters, Meteonis Quadrantids wiping all of Zarc’s spells and traps and a super-charged Drytron Meteonis DAD obliterating Supreme King Z-ARC.

And then like… I dunno, Alexis and her Cyber Girls pummel Zarc into the ground until he agrees to not be evil anymore? Or maybe just punt him into space and vaporize him with Fafnir.

Like, uh… I have no idea if I’m every actually going to DO anything with this idea. I just wanted to put it down and throw it out there.

[obseletrix]

#smth else about this blog is that india is likewise impenetrable to me. the sheer historical and geographic scale is unbearably intimidatin#where does one even start?#ed* ^ i know the basic 101 historical outlines but i don't think that's “knowing” a place

comments on this in tags ->

You know Mandarin??

sometime in the spring of this year i kept encountering the idea on other social media that chinese is impossible to learn for europeans, that it's too difficult, that no westerner can learn or truly understand it, and in combination with a mainland friend visiting and telling me the ancient chinese etymology of some basic characters (and the 白人饭 Lunch of Suffering meme) i got fed up/enchanted and did the extremely mentally healthy thing of teaching myself basic mandarin, through about ~april to july. at some points in may i remember coming home from work, scribbling characters in my mandarin notebook over and over, doing chores, going to sleep, and repeating the cycle. a taiwanese friend on here helped out with a lot (it's much, much easier if you have chinese friends to help you, however, i am really not about traditional, although i admit it's more beautiful) and baptized me with a chinese name.

i don't know mandarin, and at this point a lot of the characters i'd learned have faded from memory, but i insist that it's not actually difficult to learn chinese (up to a point— maybe HSK 3 or 4 is where it gets really difficult). in fact, learning chinese is really, really fun.

the difficulty lies in the fact that you have to do it every single day for at least an hour, probably for more (i spent pretty much all my free time on it, but there was something not normal going on with me then). you'd think, isn't that the case for every language? yet i don't remember doing daily french like that, and i consider some aspects of french conjugation/russian grammar much more difficult than what chinese throws at you at similar difficulty levels (good luck with motion verbs, non-slavic speakers). i found learning characters to be very, very easy. they're all distinct. if you learn them together with their etymology, looking at ancient chinese and how they developed along with associated idioms, it's endlessly rewarding. at least in the early levels, there's a bit of a system to how characters and words come together and increase in complexity—sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's cute. it's a breath of fresh air to start reading even basic sentences and idioms in a language so entirely different from anything you've experienced before. many people say speaking chinese is easier than reading/writing: in my experience, that's false. i barely started getting a grasp on the tonal system (my goal was to get to HSK 1 solely through written chinese); i remember listening to the same 2 minute audio clip of two people exchanging phone numbers for half an hour or something once before getting everything right. people say "chinese doesn't have grammar" but that's not true, because otherwise it won't be a language at all, though you don't have to learn any conjugations, declensions, etc. at HSK 1-2 you just throw a modifier/particle into a sentence and you're good to go.

the other main difficulty besides tones is that imo chinese culture is borderline impenetrable if you want to have a genuine stab at it (but for this you don't, necessarily, need to learn mandarin). you can learn HSK 1-2 in a few months or a semester, but it will take you years to genuinely understand the cultural context—there truly is no context clue or familiar idea you can latch on to, as opposed to when learning a european language/history, or even turkish, arabic, persian; there is nothing in common here, and if you guess, you'll probably wind up wrong. it all makes me think of how many journalists/experts get russia wrong: i now firmly do not believe a word of what people write about asia unless i find the author knows the language

anyway

[ciozio]

Hmmm Post Canon Hapfrin mayhaps?

Also hi I really like your au and think it's really neat!! (Sorry for anon TwT)

Thank you for liking my au wwawawawawwawawa

Already have some Post / Act 6 ideas laid out!

Spoiler alert!!

hes mentally ill

Yay!!

Siffrin regrets his time (especially what happens in act 5 wink wink) in the loops, especially his actions. Feels like the scum of Earth, no matter how much his friends try to help him.

Hes very uncomfortable around Isabeau and Odile specifically, but it's mainly out of guilt.

Isabeau, because of some horrid things he's done (kissing and even dating Isa in one loop).

Odile, because maybe he could've told her sooner. She's noticed him act up multiple times, and his messed-up mind claimed her to be the villain sometimes during the loops.

Overall doesn't trust himself around the family at all!! Doesn't even consider them family.

He doesn't think he's worth it.

Considers them "associates" because calling them allies or the DREADED "audience" would hurt him.

Doesn't remember all of their names, mainly remembers their titles. Includes his own! The name "Siffrin" is the haziest! His writing also worsens from the craze.

Takes a while for Siffrin to heal to trust himself from making choices that won't hurt those around him.

But no matter what, the family won't leave him behind! They all help him the best they can.

As for Loop, well..

Loop is from a Sadness timeline, Siffrin is from a Happiness timeline. 2hats isn't the same as the og ISAT

Older sketches in Read More

Here's some older doodles that also are Act 6 / Post Game

[cameronspecial]

(I have a lot of ideas sorry for the spam)

drew x reader where he cooks all the time cause she can’t cook, but she starts to feel bad cause he cooks everyday. So before he come back from work she try to make dinner but she hurts herself. Maybe cut herself or burned herself on the stove and when he gets home, he sees her trying to hide her injury because she is embarrassed. He gets a bit mad but not like mad mad just worried mad yk? Like “what the hell happened? I told you i would make dinner tonight!” And she cry and be like “I’m sorry I just wanted to make you happy” and he comforts her and say she shouldn’t be sorry.

Kitchen Nightmare

Pairing: Drew Starkey x Reader

Warnings: Cooking Injury and Blood

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 0.6K

Masterlist

Y/N can’t cook. It is no secret on set that the girl is notorious for being a nightmare in the kitchen. The meat she cooks is always overcooked on the outside but raw on the inside. The rice she makes is always way too mushy or just hard as a rock. It’s like the universe only gave her the ability to cook food at either end of the extremities. The cast of Outer Banks loves her, but they dread going over to her house for dinner because it means they would have to utilize their acting skills to not make her feel bad about her cooking. When she started dating Drew, everyone felt relief that they would never have to eat her cooking again because Drew promised to take care of it. And Y/N was very grateful for that because the truth is that she hated cooking and she knew how bad she was at it. She never told her castmates because she found it amusing to watch them fake liking her food. 

However, she is beginning to feel bad that Drew is always the one who cooks. She knows he is more than happy to, but she also knows that being the one to think of a meal every day can be stressful. Her decision to help him out tonight scares her, yet she is determined to do something nice for him. Ordering food didn’t seem like a personal gesture, so she asked his mom for the casserole recipe she knew he loved so much. 

She feels like it is starting well. She has all the ingredients and the right tools. The first thing she has to do is get the chicken breasts out and washed. She is setting it in the pan and notices how thick the chicken looks. Her hand finds the packaging and realizes she made the mistake of not buying thin-cut chicken. She needs this dinner to be perfect, so she takes it out of the pan and gets it onto the cutting board. The knife shakily meets the chicken’s muscles and slices it apart. She always feared using knives. She knows how clumsy she is and can always imagine the disaster that would occur. Stuck in her own mind, it is exactly what happened. Her hand slips against the raw meat and the knife glides against her skin. A red line blooms across her finger. It is a scary situation and she knows she shouldn’t laugh, but the only thing that comes to her mind is a scene from Bob’s Burgers. Her cut is in the exact same place as Bob’s and now, all she hears is Linda saying finger crotch repeatedly. 

Drew enters the apartment to the smell of raw chicken and the faint hint of iron associated with blood. What is even more scary than the unknown source of blood? Finding his girlfriend laughing hysterically with a knife in one hand and her other bloodier than a slaughterhouse. He rushes to his girl, taking her hand into his. “What the hell happened?” he questions, piecing the scene together as he looks around the room. “I told you I would make dinner.” Her crazed state is now dying down and her laughter turns to soft cries. 

“I’m sorry I just wanted to make you happy. I know cooking every day can be stressful and that you miss your mom’s cooking. I wanted to surprise you.”

He feels bad about his harsh anger, pulling her into a hug with a kiss to the temple. “That’s really sweet, Sweetie. I’m sorry I was so angry. I just get worried when you cook. I don’t want you getting hurt,” he explains, combing his fingers through her hair. She nods. He gets a clean towel to apply pressure on her wound and gets his car keys out. He rushes her through the door. “Let’s get you to the hospital and then maybe to cooking lessons.”

Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia

[marzipanandminutiae]

Now that we are speaking about the old timey pixie cut, I was wondering if it is somehow related to people who were selling their hair for wigs. I guess some of them would sell their hair, specially if it was long before the cut, but do you think it could be one of those fashions where the rich notice the poor looking a certain way because poverty and going "well, if it isn't A Look" and copying it? I don't know the social perceptions of selling your hair, but do you think there is an intersection here somehow?

Interesting thought, especially because fashion rarely moved upwards from the bottom in that way during the 19th century

Selling your hair was seen as terribly noble and Romantic...if done for reasons almost nobody ever had in real life. literary heroines of the time sell their hair to feed their children (Fantine in Les Mis- written later but set around the Directoire era), to bail out an unjustly imprisoned fiance (a magazine story I read once), etc. whereas in real life, the thriving human hair market among hairpiece-makers usually sourced its raw materials from "hair fairs" around the European countryside. peasant women would sell their hair for money to augment their usual incomes- I've read a few cases of women doing it to fund travel to a city, for better job opportunities. some women were even serial hair sellers, growing it out again each time for the sole purpose of cutting it for sale when it was long enough

how aware upper-class women would be of this, when their sole experience of the idea was Selling One's Hair For A Noble Cause, I'm not certain. and it WAS seen as a tragic sacrifice in most of those stories, with commentary of the aftermath confined mostly to the lady's Poor Shorn Head and Steadfast Love rather than "omg so cute! a Lewk!" so it's possible the thought would have held cachet for them based on a fantasy, but that fantasy did little to proclaim the aesthetic qualities of short hair. and to notice it on a poor woman and think positively of it would have required some other inducement from a pre-existing source they had positive associations with, if that makes sense? so I'm personally skeptical that that could have been the origin

apparently, when a brief short hair craze arose in the US and specifically Chicago in the 1880s, there were newspapers theorizing that some lady of fashion may have been ill and cut her hair in the throes of fever, as was commonly thought to vent heat from the brain back then, and either liked the result or put a brave face on to pretend she did. It's possible that that had something to do with the Titus making its jump to women as well, earlier on? or it could just have been getting lost in the neoclassicism sauce, as the name of the style suggests

it's interesting too because it's a unisex style, but you see it in fashion plates and portraits (and later, photographs) of women who are NOT masculine or androgynous at all- to me that's what differentiates Ye Olde Pixie Cut from A Woman With A Men's Hairstyle. it's a different mindset; not trying to look masculine, but adopting an unconventional fashion popular among decidedly feminine women

[bug-in-a-cage]

at a top level, i don't have an issue with the concept of "sfw g/t" (though i'm not sure how much of this stuff can really be considered "safe for work" - it certainly wouldn't be safe in my workplace) but...it's kinda weird and othering when i see people from that sub-community talk like "sexualising giants" is something shameful and weird and disgusting, and that having a non-kinky interest in relationship dynamics between giants and tinies is, somehow, more "pure" than thinking giant or tiny people are hot.

like, fine, being sex-repulsed is valid, it's possible to have a fascination with size tropes that is not kinky, or is kink adjacent. i myself am on the ace spectrum and i understand the complexity that brings to relationships, both with others and with your own sexual and romantic orientation.

but uhhh.

it's kind of...weird to see people imply that if you do get off to the idea of giants or tinies, that you're somehow a disgusting pervert with an adolescent libido who is intruding while The Adults Are Talking.

i'm not saying that people should be allowed to sexualise characters explicitly labelled as sfw g/t, not at all. boundaries are important and should be respected.

but what i am saying is that size spaces will inevitably contain people, like myself, who think giants are hot, and if you are repulsed by that in general, your response should not be to think of those people as sex-crazed intruders who don't Truly Appreciate size.

sexuality is not inherently bad nor good. it just is. it is another mode of being. and indeed there are people who like size solely as a sexual fantasy and have absolutely no interest in romantic or platonic g/t relationships. those people are not wrong to feel that way about size.

it is true that there are many size kinksters, pretty much universally heterosexual men, that are genuinely regressive in their views on women in kink spaces, and who regard giantesses largely as dispensers of orgasms rather than thinking and feeling human beings.

but that does not describe all people who have a size kink. it doesn't describe me or any size kinksters i associate with. to paint all people who like size tropes chiefly as a sex thing as afflicted slaves to passion is, at the end of the day, just reproducing 19th-century Protestant sexual repression, where sexuality is seen as something aberrant that must be avoided or controlled to remain Pure rather than, you know, just another biological impulse, like eating or shitting.

it's fine to find sexuality distasteful and unpleasant and want to avoid it. it's not fine to talk about the people who do have kinky fantasies like they are disgusting and gross.

we are all human beings and it takes all sorts to make a world. it's fine to say "i don't get this or like it, but i recognise that others might feel differently" and then just...walk away.

[plutaztix]

Finished first draft designs of the hazbin cast- Alastor., Charlie, Angeldust, Nifty , and Vaggie.

Some of them got minor redesigns while others got revamped, so I’ll be going down the line and discussing my reasoning for each one (please note, these are not perfect, and probably are not animator friendly, I did this for fun, and a lot of the decisions I made were because I felt like it. Do not throw a fit if you don’t like them)

Alastor- when redesigning alastor I focused on 3 major details: that he was from the 1920s-1930s, he was from the south, and that he was a “radio demon”. I took away the voodoo stuff cause that felt like a really weird way to associate him with Louisiana culture, and instead went for the more “southern gentleman” feel using the slicked back hair and simple clothes. I also replaced his monocle with a full pair of glasses, because I think not being able to see his eyes makes him more menacing, same thing with the straight teeth. I made his color palette into warm browns to kind of give the vibe of an old timey radio- with a highlight of gold as well. Side note: I like to imagine he doesn’t open his mouth, and instead it just lights up like an actual radio- cause I think that’s cool character flavor. I also kept his deer motif cause ,apparently, it was supposed to connect with how he died- plus I’m always a sucker for the kind of evil character that has an innocent animal theme, super fun. (Also his microphone is sentient and does change the text depending on the situation)

Charlie Morningstar- I think Charlie is a lovely character, she’s one of favorites, but she felt pretty plain in some aspects. I learned that she was kind of inspired by porcelain dolls, which gave me an interesting idea of making into kind of a “devils Pinocchio”- because what’s more innocent than a doll imbued with the power of her father’s dreams? So I really leaned into the soft friendly doll look, giving her ball joints and large eyes that stare into your soul. I softened a lot of her colors and gave her rounder shapes as well as leaning into the goat aspects of her character, because i thought it could be fun to have her play off the deer motif that alastor has.

Angel Dust- My boy , my good lad. He is also pretty solid when it comes to design , however- HE DID NOT LOOK LIKE A SPIDER. I had no idea that his freckles were supposed to be eyes until I rewatched it. Soooo I definitely tried to make him more spider like by making his eyes more prominent and giving him pointy side burns that act as mandibles. I also gave him him his spider butt and some weird ass legs. Oh and , unrelated, I like to imagine he does burlesque.

Nifty- MY FAVORITEE , I love nifty guys, she’s my POOKIE bear. When going into her design I knew I wanted to make her look older since I thought it was weird how much she was infantilized so I gave her lipstick and pearl earrings to make her look more like a refine 1950s housewife, as well as give her an apron and cleaning gloves to make her feel more like a maid. I also leaned into her subtle bug theme by giving her antennae, and giving polka dots on her dress for a very subtle lady bug theme (cause she’s my little lady). Some more small things I gave her a little swirl in her bangs to call back to victory rolls, as well as some subtle hints of green to call back to the uranium craze of that time.

Vaggie- she was difficult. Initially, I had no idea what I wanted to do with her, but I think that’s also because she’s not a very fleshed out character? Her whole story is kind of , Support Charlie and be a fallen angel.(still love chaggie tho) So I took some creative liberties, and gave her a more mature look- with some periwinkle to act as a subtle hint to her angelic nature. I also gave her the monocle from alastor design cause I thought it made more sense for her? Like, if anyone is gonna have the one eyed visual aid it’s gonna be the bitch with one eye. It also makes her look more matured? And I gave her a moth broach to call back to her moth inspo.

Annnd that’s it! I’ll be working on the next batch soon, which will likely have husk and sir pentious, if you have any other people you wanna see lmk!

[zal-cryptid]

fun fact, i didn't think that a betty spaghetti was a real toy because i've just never seen them before? but when i showed misfits in toyland to a friend they IMMEDIATELY said "oh a betty spaghetti!" so i guess i just never saw the betty spaghetti craze lol

now that i see them i realize just how accurate jen is lmao

but what are jen's toybrain instincts? i have no idea how betty spaghettis are meant to be played with, and i've basically not seen jen do or want to do anything but be a little shit to people

A key thing to look for when trying to figure out a toyfolk's toybrain instincts is to figure out what the toy is meant to do and what the toy is meant to be.

A baby doll, for example, is a toy resembling a human infant, so one can expect someone like Mel to exhibit traits associated with babyhood.

A Rubik's Cube would develop the urge to be rotated and solved. A stuffed animal would want to be cuddled. Most girls' dolls stereotypically have a compulsion to have tea parties. Ballerinas dance. Balls bounce. Toy soldiers march.

So...what is the purpose of a Betty Spaghetty doll? What personality is assigned to it? What is it a depiction of? What does the toy do? The doll is portrayed as a "fun-loving teenager or preteen". It's a bendable fashion doll that comes with exchangable body parts and accessories.

The reason why most of Jen's toybrain urges aren't that visible is because they're not that different to the traits she already had as a human. Flexible body, a love for fun, fashion, and accessorizing, a dark desire for dismemberment, a youthful personality...honestly, it was a perfect match.

[bronzeageyuri]

Today marks three years of Dianthus existing! I made my first concept sketches for her on 11/20/23 💖 this also means it's been three years of Diathesterius! I sometimes use the date I uploaded Dia to toyhouse, the 21st, as the anniversary date just in case I'm late... but I managed to finish colouring this <3 I had actually wanted to do something for this earlier in the month, I even made some very elaborate plans for it... but it ended up not happening! Which is okay 💞 but I still wanted to draw a little wedding piece... so I did! I'll make something fancier when I have more time later on... 💝 I used my own handwriting here for authenticity, but at some point... I'd like to be able to rewrite in Greek for More authenticity <3 Uncropped version (and long rambling post) under the cut 💕 I get a little Vulnerable so don't read it if you're gonna be mean or else I'll like Get You or something

I've made posts in the past talking about why Theseus and Asterius mean so much to me, but I don't think I've made one on why Dianthus herself means so much to me.. so for her own third year anniversary, I'll do that here! before I begin...! the fruit in dia's hair here are from the strawberry tree, arbutus unedo. I associate the tree and its fruit with Theseus but... it's honestly been so long, I don't remember exactly why! Just that, for some reason, I imagine thathis childhood home had a tree of these fruit blossoming just outside his mother's room, and thus he has fond memories of it. Lady Dianthus... she who loves all things pink, actively hates celery, and still has a job at the library despite being so fogetful and clumsy... she who met Theseus and immediately became obsessed because it was the first interesting thing to happen to her- not a parent or someone she's close to, but herself! her first time feeling as if she had a true purpose. She who didn't understand Theseus' obsession with Asterius until meeting he Minotaur, and promptly decided "he's not scary? he's not scary at all! he's just a cow!" I've made sona and the likes before Dia of course, but she was the first in a long time who was truly meant to resemble me in all ways (except for the setting, of course...). I made her design simple so I would easily be able to redraw her, and gave her one of my favourite palettes pink and green and cream and gold. At first I really didn't expect to get that attached to her... I went months without drawing her after her initial creation. but the more I drew her the more I realized how much fun I was having with her...! It's funny looking back on it... originally I had a much more comedic idea for her story, and di not intend to ship her with Theseus in any serious way. It was going to be a completely one-sided love (with Dianthus taking the role of "crazed fangirl" - which she still is, in a way). I'm sure it isn't a surprise but it didn't take me long at all to start drawing ship art of them, creating artworks and writing of Theseus and Asterius was a self indulgent joy for me, so why not selfship art too? I ended up invested, of course. Using Dia I put a lot of my own feelings into a story; a sense of otherness, her loneliness, feeling lost and out of place. I had removed it later on because I felt uneasy with how vulnerable it was, but at one put I had placed one of the most traumatic events of my life into Dia's story- sometimes I think about adding it back, because I know giving her an oppurtunity to open up about it with her beloveds would be something beneficial to Me irl(!). But that's besides the point here... she's a stubborn girl, sweet but arrogant is my usual go-to descriptor for her; that's how I think of myself too, just based on what I've been told (I have a hard time thinking of myself as nice, though others always say so to me...). That may be part of why I tend to look for those features in (fictional!) lovers... something feels good to me about being able to butt heads due to this shared traits, but still coming together and making amends despite it. I do think it's a little funny that the sonas I've gotten the most attached to so far- Dianthus, and now Nerine- have some sort of theme of death with them. Dianthus is literally a ghost, and Nerine is metaphorically one (and maybe liteally, if I ever make up my mind...). Maybe that's just fitting for me, though... hmm... I'm not sure what else I want to say here... I think of Dianthus as "Me but in Hades Game / Ancient Greek context." Of course some events that happen in her life didn't happen to me, or, sometimes, I dramatize it (Dia's mother leaving her and her father to become the wife of a god was inspired by the fact that for the first few yers of my life, my parents were separated... but they always had a positive relationship with one another! Unlike Dia's parents), but she's become a big par

t of me all the same. Just as I am happy and hoping to spend many more years with Theseus and Asterius, I hope to spend many more years with her as well. i think that's all I'll write for now <3 if you read this thank you for being curious enough about me to be interested in all this 😭

btw, here's the first ever post of her... (yes thats my priv </3 i briefly unlocked it to search for this... don't try and follow me over there though it's crazy over there)

[osmos-iv]

Murder Drones Theories/Observations !!!

I'm sure any Murder Drones fans(myself included) are excited for the final episodes to be released soon! But, I've made some observations from the currently existing episodes that I'm not sure if anyone has brought up yet. Here are my points!

(Brace yourself, this may get lengthy)

Let's get into the longer stuff first. In episode 5, we are taken into N's memories and see what life was like for them while they worked for Tessa's rich family. I think it's worth noting that the disassembly drones that we know in the present time have yellow eyes. However, in these past memories, they have white eyes.

Pay attention to the glow of the eyes, since it can get difficult to tell sometimes. Even if the yellow appears white sometimes, you can see the blurred yellow glow if you look closely. Here's a better comparison with past CYN and N:

Maybe they(N, J, and V) haven't become disassembly drones yet? Honestly I don't think we even know what a disassembly drone is. Actually wait, N actually says exactly that: "Aren't you worried we have no idea what we even are?!" (from episode 3, time 4:22)

On the subject of eyes, I see people commonly confusing some colours with others. Doll has orange eyes, and Alice's eye colour sits somewhere in between Doll's colour and the disassembly drone colour.

Idk it's like a copper?? Or they're the same and Doll's eyes are just dimmer than Alice's. The point is, they don't have yellow eyes. I'm mentioning this because the only drones we've seen associated with the colour yellow are the disassembly drones. Moving on!

At the end of episode 1, the last shot we see is this:

You can probably see that this resembles the symbol of the absolute solver. Of course, I don't know what these devices are - satellites, cannons, or even landing pods or whatever - but this makes me think that the solver originates from off the planet and operates remotely. Additionally, it's been said that the Absolute Solver "took CYN as a host". So CYN and the Solver are not the same; they are separate entities. Or at least, they were. (We don't see CYN acting as a normal drone at any point, only as taken over by Solver.)

+ Other small details I noticed!

1- The lace headpiece that J, V, and CYN wear in episode 5 all have eyeball patterns on them. (resembling the Solver's signature tubular eye cameras)

2- The binary code around the window says "01101110 1110101 1101100 1101100". Using a conversion site translates it to "null"

3- The Copper system appears to be the furthest from Earth(based on what is shown), and at least 2 colonized planets excluding Copper 9 have been taken over by Solver. Earth has also been taken over/destroyed by the Solver.

(the distance shown is not accurate to distance between planets, these are merely how I put the separate frames next to each other)

4- V is a zombie drone? Her eye screen displayed a 'Fatal Error' message earlier in episode 5 like other drones in the library, after which she ends up sporting the same wings and crazed state that Uzi had in episode 4.

Adding onto this, while she is in her zombie mode her lights are yellow. After Uzi hacks into the Solver's body and lets go of V, her eyes are back to white and her behaviour is normal. - This is visible from a little before 18:00 mins. into episode 5 and the seconds that follow.

5- Tessa and CYN have the same hairstyle.

I don't personally think this holds deeper meaning, since it's said that Tessa gives her favourite drones their hair. Oh I just noticed, CYN has the bow too!

6- The doll that CYN disassembles.

I don't understand why this was shown in great focus in episode 5. The only thing I can possibly think of is that it implies that the Solver can take control of biological beings, like humans? I'm not really convinced on this, but this and my previous observation about CYN and Tessa could add on to the theory that's been going around that Tessa is being controlled by the Solver. Maybe if we saw present Tessa with her helmet off we could se what colour her eyes are?

lol jk I know the humans being silhouettes is a stylistic choice.

And that's the end! Feel free to correct me or add on to anything I've theorized about here.

Thanks for reading!

[beardedmrbean]

A Canadian TikTok creator whose viral cucumber salad recipes have received millions of views and shares is being blamed for a shortage of the vegetable in Iceland, the BBC reported. 

TikTok creator Logan Moffitt, who shares videos with his 6 million followers under the username "@LogagM," started making cucumber salad content in July. 

He told Fox News Digital he suspects his videos are popular because they're "super-simple, easy-to-follow and fast recipes," he said via email. 

WOMAN MAKES SOURDOUGH BREAD MID-FLIGHT IN VIRAL TIKTOK VIDEO: SEE IT

His recipes mainly follow the same basic steps. Moffitt holds a cucumber to the camera and says, "Sometimes you need to eat an entire cucumber. Let me show you the best way to do it." He then slices the cucumber into a deli container, using a mandoline slicer. 

In some videos, Moffitt references the "demure" TikTok trend and reminds viewers to "be mindful" of their mandolines. 

Moffitt, who is in his 20s, then inserts various ingredients into the deli container before closing it and shaking it. The videos end with him taking a bite of his salad. 

Moffitt told Fox News Digital he'd been making cucumber salads for a while, but "just recently started posting them" in an attempt to experiment with different types of content.

They're seasonal, too, as summer is "the perfect time to have some cucumber salad," he noted. 

While many of his cucumber salad variations are inspired by Asian foods, Moffitt said he's been inspired to transform other foods into salads, too. 

"I usually think of ideas for the salads from pre-existing food: jalapeño popper cucumbers, chipotle cucumbers, sushi cucumbers," he said. 

His favorite, he added, is the "salmon cream cheese" cucumber. 

One variation of that recipe has received more than 32 million views on TikTok in the month since it was posted.

Rather than use specific recipes and ingredient amounts, Moffitt relies on his cooking experience to craft his salads. 

"I think through a lot of practice and time spent in the kitchen you grow to learn what quantities are important for your own taste," he said.

He said that he "cooked dinner every day for my family and watched a lot of YouTube chefs throughout my childhood." 

For Moffitt, "focusing on your taste, rather than an exact recipe, makes cooking super fun." 

Said one TikTok user in response to Moffitt's "salmon bagel cucumber" recipe, "You've somehow romanticized cucumbers and I love that for you."

"I don't even like cucumbers but still find myself watching the whole video every time," said another TikTok user.

The popular recipes are partly to blame for a shortage of cucumbers in Iceland, the BBC reported in late August. 

The Horticulturists' Sales Company (SFG), Iceland's farmers' association, told the BBC that there were shortages of the vegetable and that farmers "have been unable to keep up with spiraling demand" for cucumbers. 

One Icelandic supermarket chain told the BBC that cucumber sales had doubled since the salad recipes became popular. 

The sales of other ingredients used in Moffitt's recipes, including sesame oil and chili oil, have also increased, the BBC reported. 

The cucumber shortages in Iceland should resolve themselves before too long, the BBC also noted.

Kristín Linda Sveinsdóttir, who works in marketing for the SFG, told the BBC that the viral cucumber salad trend came at the same time that many farmers are not producing large amounts of cucumbers. 

"Everything is happening at the same time," Sveinsdóttir told the BBC. "This is the first time we have experienced something like this." 

There likely would not have been a shortage had the cucumber salad TikTok recipes gained popularity earlier in the summer, Sveinsdóttir told the BBC. 

Moffitt himself posted about the shortages in an Aug. 26 TikTok video.

"A lot of you guys have been asking me how many cucumbers I buy in a week, so let's count them out," he said in a video captioned, "Cucumber haul!"

In the video, Moffitt revealed that he had purchased 17 cucumbers that week.

"Seventeen cucumbers," he said, holding the vegetables.

"This is why there's no cucumbers left in Iceland. I bought them all," he joked. ____________

that's a good way to get people to eat their veggies, now if they can get enough cukes to them to keep the salads going.

[shallowseeker]

Becky Rosen-Baron, MIA.

Becky's "death" + Dean's side of the fireplace mantel

Becky loses her husband, then her "junior" and daughter...and then she herself dies. Just like Dean.

///

The two sides of the mantel:

Ahh, the mantel, nestled as the hearth of home. Hearths are associated with home and family because the hearth was historically the main source of heat in the home, as well as where the cooking was done.

The left side is Chuck's side, black chess pieces. Sam is driving the car with TFW safely confined to the roadhouse at the end. The monster hand is pointed away from Sam.

The right is Becky's side: white pieces, glass half-fall.

It's also Dean's side, with Dean driving the car and heading towards Cas and "mini Cas," plus a family portrait showing what Cas and "mini Cas" are to Dean. The monster's hand is reaching for Dean's side, as Dean-action-hero figure frantically fights against it.

Awww. the cute little family picture with Rod Baron, Rod Jr, their daughter, and Becky Rosen, which also foreshadows the order of the losses (hub dies first in the form of Cas and finale-dad).

This is right next to...Dean in a car, Cas, and a "mini Cas." (Becky doesn't know about Jack.)

///

Other suspicious details: Dean prime is in the car driving towards Cas in front of a reddish Hellscape.

Alternatively, the photo behind Cas bears some resemblance to a blossom, like the Leviathan blossom he was searching for, crazed, as he rushed through the lands of Purgatory on the verge of losing Cas. They even look like they could be two blossoms straining towards one another. Who knows? It could be a famous fanart I'm just not familiar with.

Anyhoo, both Cas and "junior/little" Cas are turned away from Dean.

This is a nod to Dean...without? Bereft. A la The Winchesters companion series. Here's Dean's ending. Limbo. Wandering. Searching for a happy family he doesn't have.

///

If the more-discussed left side was Sam's ending, then the less-discussed right side is Dean in The Winchesters. It's the head side versus the heart side.

And the heart ending, which we sort of get from The Winchesters is a wandering, driving Dean, looking for this nebulous happiness he can't seem to find without Cas and..."mini Cas/Cas junior" Jack.

///

Becky was "doing great"

But Becky's life is so cute, y'all. That hub is adorbs.

ROD: "We'll be fine, babe...it's just Lake Michigan. Hardly any chop!"

Famous last words, Rod. You don't know that it's you who is going to mishandle that "Michigan chop."

Becky/Rod - But OMG can we just take a minute? They LIKE each other. They tease each other. They know the motion sickness comes from him, probably. And he knows she's gonna be nerding out during her relaxing weekend (that's part of the point of getting away--to let her have that time).

AAaaaaaahhhhhHHHHhhhhh.

Rod knows about Becky's writing and her superfan status (hard to miss in her office hehe) and loves her for it. And it's just so damn cute.

BECKY: Four hours in a boat? Rod, Junior gets seasick in the tub. ROD: Where would I be without you? BECKY: Covered in puke. [BECKY taps on the window.] Have fun, sweeties! JUNIOR: Thanks, Mom, we will. [ROD and BECKY kiss.] ROD: (fondly)Wow. Felt that. You can’t wait to have the house to yourself. BECKY: (flirtatiously) Oh, you have no idea.

///

Along comes Chuck, the metaphorical stop sign to Becky's life; her "off-screen murderer"

Chuck sees her big house and her van and her fam and notes sees that she's doing "great" for herself. She doesn't know it yet but he is the end of her life--he even appears in front of a stop sign!

BONUS: Becky's wearing the gray duster/caretaker warrior/hearth of house/"dead guy robe!"

Instinctively, she runs. See, even with their baggage, Becky's already got a bad feeling, "Well I don't need or want to see you."

So naturally, he worms his way in.

CHUCK: I’m sorry, I… I know we’re not together anymore, and it seems like you’re doing great. I just – I… I wanted to talk. Catch up. It’s been a rough couple of weeks. BECKY: That’s not my problem. [She turns to walk into the house.] CHUCK: Wait, Becky, please. I don’t have anywhere else to go.

So then, after denigrating her POV:

BECKY: I’m a writer, too, Chuck. CHUCK: Oh. I mean, fanfic… it’s not really the same thing… BECKY: Writing’s writing. The self-sabotage, the doubts, the struggle against time. So, whenever I have a spare minute, I write.

He steals.

///

He will wind up taking everything

First, he steals her rosy little laptop with her cute little rose decal-skin and the rose keyboard cover and he even puts on HER GLASSES:

///

Then, clever girl that she is, she fakes liking it to try to get him to leave! The LYING motif. "It's so good! I loved it....it's so good I'd love to get back to my own work."

CHUCK: "No...no no. You're shining me on. ...Come on, one note."

Then Becky makes her fatal misstep

She gives concrit, which is what Chuck said he wanted but not what he actually wanted. Just look at this face. Becky's starting to feel that...wrongness.

Something's off.

It's the same subtle change--that same whiplash we saw when he cruelly turned on Metatron in the diner.

After he writes his hopeless ending on her computer, and she lets her criticism rip. He sadistically enjoys her discomfort. He's sticking it to her, with her love of laundry and conversations and banter, which will appear in the terrible finale. Then, he says this:

[BECKY walks but turns to CHUCK.] BECKY: You have to leave. CHUCK: Nah, I kinda like it here.

He took a crap on her computer, wore her glasses, sat in her seat...now he's taking her office. Her house.

///

Chuck takes all

[ROD enters the living room.] ROD: Babe, you wouldn’t believe what happened.

JJLKgj! Aw, Rod. He cannot wait to tell her that he's the one that wound up puking. KJALGJAGH get you a man like that!

Then he kills Rod right in front of her.

[BECKY looks at CHUCK.] BECKY: Please. ROD: Junior was fine, but I puked everywhere. [ROD walks in and sees CHUCK. He looks at BECKY, confused.] ROD: Babe? CHUCK: Hey. [CHUCK snaps his fingers. ROD disappears in a puff of dust.] BECKY: (screams) Rod?! What happened? Where is he? CHUCK: He’s gone. BECKY: What?!

Her children enter next; we can only hear them off-screen. Rod Jr. can't wait to tell her about the puke incident either. They just know she'll love it.

Chuck will take Rod right in front of Becky's eyes, but her children will die off-screen. "Away."

[ROD JR. enters.] ROD JR.: Hey, mom! We’re back! Dad got sick! He threw up all over the side – [CHUCK snaps his fingers again. The kids disappear.] BECKY: (gasping for air, on a whisper) No! (shudders) The kids. CHUCK: Oh, don’t worry. They’re not dead. They’re just away. [BECKY turns back to CHUCK.] CHUCK: Oh, yeah. I’m God. [BECKY looks horrified.] BECKY: What are you… No. You bring them back. You bring them back! [CHUCK smiles.] BECKY: Please…you can’t do this.

It echoes both Dean pleading with God in 13x01, "Now, you're gonna bring them back," and his 15x18 "Don't do this, Cas." Yeup. Becky is now bereft. Without. Rod's gone, like Cas will soon be gone.

CHUCK: Oh, Becky. I can do anything. [CHUCK steps closer to BECKY. He snaps his fingers. She disappears in a puff of dust.]

Becky faces him defiantly but quickly unravels into grief. "You bring them back...please."

And then he kills Becky.

And here we have these "withouts" culminating. The fun motifs about having the house to yourself end with a cheeky disappearance of the things Becky loves the most. It's cruel. She'd been trying to help Chuck, and he did not show the slightest glimmer of gratitude once her "fluffing" ceased.

And then she herself is gone.

///

It makes you think of this too from 15x18:

DEAN: "She's gonna kill you. And then she's gonna kill me."

///

Girls named Becky take things and break things?

In 13x01, the angel Miram ranted and raved about the specter-like example of a "super bitch named Becky."

This Becky would "take things and break things."

But the funny thing is...here? As Chuck settles into her office and takes her house…

He's the one taking and breaking. He stole everything from her the same way he tried to wrap himself up in Dean's gray MoL robe.

Just 'cause he can.

[tengritexas]

Candle Light Meditation: The Peculiar Treatment for Insomnia, Irregular Sleep Patterns, and ADHD

Hi everyone! Today Im writing about a new meditation trick Ive been testing out and Ill be sharing how to do it if youre interested.

Why I chose to do it

While I may like to do old man things, sitting at home and watching candle lights werent really my idea of a good time. However in the past few weeks Ive had really big issues maintaining a healthy sleep pattern and Ive always struggled with ADHD and getting school work done. I was told by a buddy of mine about mindfulness meditation and that has helped my adhd in the past so I figured this was worth a go!

Candle Light Meditation Craze

If you go to google or youtube youll certainly find all kinds of gurus and spiritualists suggesting this meditation will "decalcify your pinal gland" which would be something impacting most of us around the age 18-30 depending on diets and things like that

Here is the issue THERE IS NO RESEARCH TO SUGGEST THIS PRACTICE DECALCIFIES YOUR PENAL GLAND. So to say if that happens or not is not my place. Im a dude who posts bangers on the internet, not a neuro scientist.

What it did do

Despite the research not being there. I can tell you in the few days of doing it I have noticed my focus has sharply improved. My fatigue isnt so bad either. My sleep schedule hasnt improved to much yet but hey! Im a college student Im busy chatting and making friends (doing essays lol).

I believe some of these symptoms are associated with the pinal gland but again, I have no idea. All I can tell you is I do eat frozen foods often and this did help. I dont have a CT scanner in my room so beyond that I have no idea lol.

How to do candle light meditation

Grab a candle, light it and turn off as many lights to get the room as dark as you can. Try to use a candle with a still flame and turn off fans aswell.

Try to focus on the most solid part of the flame for a few seconds up till 3 minutes. You ideally want to do this until you feel a fuzzy feeling in your head.

Turn away from the candle and close your eyes, you should see the imprint of the flame, stare at that for as long as you can until it goes away.

Try to do repeat process 3 times a day (in one setting) for 5 days. Usually by 5 days you should begin to feel a strange tiredness in your mind. This is what your looking for. You are overloading that part of the brain because its not really being used. Much like trying to run for the first time in a few months.

The end result

Around day 5 you should find yourself being able to focus more! Ive also heard some people report it helps them with creative writing aswell but I cant attest to that.

Let me know what you guys think! Hope it helps :>

[sloanesallow]

Mama's Potatoes

Sebastian can't cook. Good thing the Niffler can. (Written for the OHL Discord server November prompt; "Comfort Food".) Sebastian Sallow x F!MC (Siobhan Sloane) Tags: Fluff, domestic married life, pregnancy, Sebastian can't cook and you can fight me, Peter the Niffler. 1.7k words [Ao3] | [Wattpad] | [Tumblr Masterlist]

Sebastian doesn’t know what he’s doing.

It’s a rare feeling. He’s not stupid—he wouldn’t be the youngest curse-breaker at the Ministry if he were—and usually knows how to handle a daunting situation. Crazed Inferi, dangerous artifacts, unusual hexes, you name it. But this…this is a new level of difficulty.

He’s been standing in the kitchen since sunrise, flipping through old cookbooks and Sloane’s recipe journals, looking for something—anything—within his skillset. Despite his wife’s numerous demonstrations and seemingly limitless patience, he has never quite gotten the hang of cooking. If his father-in-law were there, he’d scold Sebastian. What self-respecting man can’t cook for his pregnant, bedridden wife?

He hates this, hates that he isn’t good at something so simple.

It should, in theory, be akin to potions, which he excels at. But alchemy isn’t the same as cuisine—you can’t just throw everything in a pot and hope for the best—not if you want it to taste good. Cooking is science, not magic, regardless of how easy Sloane makes it look. Maybe that’s why she’s so good at it, because she insists on doing it without spells. She’s a natural, and Sebastian…

Well, it’s a good thing he provides in other ways.

With the birth of their child imminent, however, she’s resigned to the bed, on strict orders from the nurses at St. Mungos to keep off her feet. This leaves Sebastian in charge of the meals, which he knows are lackluster, even if Sloane never complains. If they were still in London, he’d pop out and grab something from the local shops, or hire one of the house elves in their old building as a cook. But they moved to the countryside in preparation for Little Sallow’s arrival, settling down where he’ll need to be self-sufficient.

What he wants is to prepare something hearty and healthy, something warm to lift her spirits before the baby comes. Sebastian allows himself five more minutes of wallowing in self-pity before opening another worn journal, hoping he’ll see something he’s helped Sloane make before. These recipes aren’t in her familiar script, but he quickly finds something promising—Beef Stew.   

Except…half the instructions are in Irish.

Sebastian grumbles to himself—just another thing he hasn’t mastered. He’s learned a few languages in his lifetime, largely due to the thirst for knowledge and travel associated with his work, but Irish isn’t one of them. And while his wife is of Irish descent, she speaks it so infrequently that he never caught on.

“This must be her mum’s,” he says aloud, discouraged. He continues to read over the old parchment and the idea of surprising Sloane with one of her mother’s recipes is too enticing to shake.

Sebastian is nothing if not ambitious.

The best-case scenario is that he manages to cook a delicious meal. Worst case, he blows up their kitchen. It wouldn’t be the first time.

Emboldened, he gets to work, rolling up his sleeves and clearing off the counter so he has space to prep. Instructions in hand, he grabs everything he needs—or thinks he needs—pots and pans and cutlery, and lights the stove with the flick of his wand. Before he can do anything else, it is yanked out of his hand and he whirls around to find Peter, Sloane’s beloved Niffler, already stashing the wand away in his pouch.

“Merp!”

“Hey!” Sebastian shouts before clenching his jaw, glancing toward the hallway that leads to where Sloane is still sleeping. He looks back at Peter in annoyance. The two tolerate each other, but mostly bicker about who Sloane loves more. “Give that back, Peter. I need it—”

“Merp!” he interrupts, batting Sebastian’s hand away when he tries to touch his fur.

Sebastian sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I don’t have time for this.”

Peter makes a series of noises that sound very much like the Niffler is mocking him as he stares at the tattered journal in Sebastian’s hands.

“What?” he sarcastically laughs. “Are you going to help me?”

For a Niffler, Peter is incredibly expressive, furrowing his brow and blinking his beady little eyes. “Merp.”

Sebastian can’t believe he’s about to have a Niffler be his sous-chef. “Fine.”

“It’s beef stew, at least I hope it is,” he continues, reading over the recipe again. “Sloane must have it memorized because I’ve never seen her use this.”

Peter chitters.

“Right,” he mumbles, moving to the cold box where they keep their perishables. “At least this is in English. Two pounds of roast, cut into small cubes.”

Sebastian places the parchment-wrapped meat on the counter before scratching at his chin. “One point of…what is…prátaí?” He frowns, reluctantly looking at Peter for guidance.  

The Niffler huffs and carefully scales down the side of the counter before scurrying toward the garden door. He pushed through the little flap Sloane installed, poking his head back in a moment later to glare.

“MERP!”

Sebastian follows after the little beast until they are in the middle of Sloane’s vegetable garden. There’s a little bit of everything, and even though they have the space (and magic) to grow whatever her heart desires, she’s kept a modest size. Peter digs at the soft soil, right beneath a small plot marker that reads Mama’s Potatoes.

“Oh,” Sebastian hums, feeling dumber than before. He grabs a nearby basket before crouching down to take the unearthed potatoes from Peter. “Since when do you know Irish?”

“Merp,” Peter answers, as if to say ‘I’m smarter than you, Sallow’.

The Niffler continues to roam the garden, bringing Sebastian the vegetables and herbs he needs for the meal. When the basket is full, the two head back inside where Peter monitors the prep work with an intimidating aura that rivals Papa Sloane.

Sebastian follows the instructions the best he can, relying on memory and Peter’s so-called translations. He tenses every time routinely grabs his wrist to correct his movements, wondering if he should hand over the knife to let Peter cut the vegetables but figures. Then again, the last thing he needs right now is a knife-wielding Niffler. 

He cooks the meat in a hot skillet until the cut pieces are lightly browned, before moving on to the vegetables—sauteing the diced onion, garlic, rosemary, and bay leaves until they are soft. Peter pushes over the bottle of red wine, and Sebastian carefully pours the liquid into the pan, stirring until Peter gestures to add the beef broth. Once everything is combined, he adds back in the meat and secures the lid before placing it into the hot oven.

“Should be ready in…” he reads over Mama Sloane’s instructions.

“Merp,” Peter chirps, tapping the counter three times.

“Three hours,” Sebastian nods.

He takes some time to tidy up and quietly sneaks down the hall to see his wife still fast asleep. Too nervous to leave the food unattended again, he makes himself comfortable on the floor in front of the oven and starts counting the minutes as they pass by. Peter joins him for a little while but eventually disappears, only returning when it’s time to add in the rest of the vegetables.  

An hour later, Sebastian holds his breath, protective mitts trembling as he pulls the steaming pot from the oven. He prays to Merlin, and maybe a few other deities, before slowly lifting the lid to inspect the final product. Peter climbs back onto the counter to peer inside, his bill opening slightly as he sniffs the air.

“Want some?” Sebastian quips, scooping a hefty portion into a bowl.

Peter shakes his tiny head. “Merp.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” Sebastian mutters, taking a bite for himself. It’s not bad, though he isn’t sure if that means it’s good, either. It certainly tastes just about the same as when Sloane makes it, but doubt swirls in his mind. “I hope she likes it.”

If he hoped for some semblance of encouragement from Peter, he doesn’t receive it. Instead, the Niffler huffs and leaps from the counter before scampering away. Sebastian reminds himself to find the little troublemaker later so he can get his wand back. Good thing Peter can’t perform magic—right?

Sebastian places the bowl onto a tray, along with a spoon and a cloth napkin. He tears off some bread from the loaf he (barely managed) to bake the day before and runs back out to the garden to pluck a few flowers for good measure. After steadying his nerves the best he can, he ventures back down the hall to the bedroom.

Sloane is awake now, reclining in their bed, eyes closed as she smooths her hands across her rounded belly. She glances up as Sebastian crosses the threshold, surprise lighting up her expression when she spots the tray in his hands.

“You cooked?” she asks, struggling to sit up. Sebastian quickly sets the food down on the nightstand so he can help her, softly laughing at the way she’s too focused on the steam rising from the bowl to cooperate. She sniffs the air. “Is that…my mother’s stew?”

He falters when he notices the shine of tears in her eyes, making sure she’s comfortably leaning against the pile of pillows. Her emotions have been heightened, to put it mildly, throughout the pregnancy, but he still didn’t anticipate tears.

“Hey, hey,” he coos, brushing back her hair and swiping his thumbs across her cheeks. “It’s alright, sweetheart. I just wanted to make sure you don’t starve.”

“Well I am starving,” she whines and he holds back his amusement, kissing away her pout.

“Here,” he says, making sure Sloane has a good handle on the bowl before leaning back. “I uhh…hope it turned out right.”

Sloane takes a moment to take in the aromas, smiling at him with glossy eyes as she stirs the bowl. “Thank you.”

Sebastian can’t respond, not when he’s still terrified that he’s done something wrong. He watches her, unblinking, as she finally takes a taste. As soon as the spoon is in her mouth, her eyes go wide and she goes still. He panics, leaning forward to grasp her shoulders and tug the spoon from her hand and mouth.

“Sloane? What is it—oh fuck—” he curses, heart racing, clumsily placing the food back on the tray before fussing over her again. “Did I poison you? Are you dying?”

Sloane snaps out of the trance to shake her head, her mouth twitching into a shaky smile. She grabs one of Sebastian’s hands and presses it to her enlarged abdomen. His chest tightens for a completely different reason when she finally speaks.

“I think the baby’s coming.”

[pyxes]

BUCKLE UP FEW FOLLOWERS/MUTUALS WHO INTERACT WITH MY POST... because right now is a good time for me to tell you all the tale of Idaho’s cannibalism law and the still very much relevant christian-fascist fear of anything that goes outside their bubble.

Idaho House code 18-5003 is perhaps my favorite part of history because it’s one of the most unknown but most jarring example of moral panic and is comparable to what we see today with Q-Anon, MAGA, and even general republican politics. I am going to try to keep this as short as possible but that might be a hard for me (post writing warning this is like...super long but also super cool and interesting). Like I said, I am completely entrenched in this part of history so I may go off rail a couple times.

To preface, Idaho is the only state in the union that explicitly has a law outlawing cannibalism. There is nothing like it in any other state which, when hearing this, people are generally shocked. The law states:

18-5003.  CANNIBALISM DEFINED — PUNISHMENT. (1) Any person who wilfully [sic] ingests the flesh or blood of a human being is guilty of cannibalism. 

(2)  It shall be an affirmative defense to a violation of the provisions of this section that the action was taken under extreme life-threatening conditions as the only apparent means of survival. 

(3)  Cannibalism is punishable by imprisonment in the state prison not exceeding fourteen (14) years.

One would expect this to be cause by some crazed cannibalistic maniac but no. In 1990, it was caused by an orchestrated nationwide fear that “satanist” (use context clues on who was labeled as such) would kidnap children-specifically white, Protestant, blue eyed, blonde hair, girls-who would then be sacrificed. We know this now as a product of the Satanic Panic of the 80's-90's. But where does the Satanic Panic and fear for our little Suzy’s life come from????

Well with all terrible things in contemporary American history the vast majority of this goes back to gross, disgusting, turkey-neck Reagan. I know. Yuck. Don’t have to tell me twice. But to understand more we have to go back a little further to the Vietnam Era and the Jesus Freak Movement.

The fundamental idea of the Jesus Freak Movement was to break away from the period typical charismatic Protestantism. The "Freaks" were generally peaceful but a few bad seeds lit the fuse for what would become the early aughts of the Satanic Panic. Two of the most notable are The Manson Family and Jim Jones' Jonestown, both of which used New-Age Christianity to further their dark self-fulfilling prophecies. Because of this, anti-cult organizations began to form and would label anyone with differing opinions from, again, charismatic-fundi Protestantism, as "devil worshippers". These organizations really did nothing to help victims, nor did they care, they only served a purpose to yap and uphold Christian Morality.

Okay, so with that out of the way, it's time to talk about the man who unfortunately survived a gunshot, Ronald Reagan. Even with the recent assassination attempt, Reagan was dropping in the 1882 mid-term polls. He was not a good man but he was a good grifter, like what we have currently been witnessing with Donald Trump. Seeing that he needed to align with something he sought refuge in the growing Religious Right movement, even though he was the first president to not attend church while in the whitehouse. His “griftey-ness” seemed genuine to some, especially Protestant Evangelical America. This is because of three calculated speeches at the National Religious Broadcast, the National Prayer Breakfast, and the National Association of American Evangelicals. These speeches would regain confidence in Reagan and would give way to a new political group to rise, the Moral Majority.  

After this alignment with the Religious Right, Reagan was to the average American W.A.S.P (White, Anglo-Saxon, Protestant) as John F. Kenndey was to the average Irish American Catholic. And if you have ever met and old Irish Catholic lady, you know they SALIVATED at the meer image of sexy John EVEN before he was president. Before Reagan, the Moral Majority was a right-wing movement whose relevance could be compared to a child putting their fingers in their ears and going “la-la-la”. The movement was founded by known anti-semite, Teletubby hating, sexual abuse defending, televangelist, Jerry Laymon Falwell Sr in the late 1970's. The Moral Majority was a loud but ignored group until Falwell’s association with Ronald Reagan. 

Falwell saw how moldable Reagan was and would personally invite him to speak at the National Religious Broadcaster Conference of 1982 previously discussed. He would use Ronald Reagan as a tool to further legislation that made his world more comfortable for him. SOUND FAMILIAR???? The moral majority had one mission and that was to create a ginormous red voting block that upheld conservative Christian ideals. These ideals really have not changed much from today with them focusing on a “traditional”, nuclear, bible abiding family. Traditional meaning strict heterosexual gender roles with males at the helm that we all know and are disturbed by.

One aspect of the Falwell’s Protestant Christianity, also referred to as charismatic Protestantism, is the idea of eschatology. While yes, all Abrahamic religions believe in eschatology, Falwell’s version was much more extreme. Instead of pondering of what happens with one's soul after they die, Charismatic Christianity cranks an imaginary biblical dial up to its max setting. Anyone who did not follow their beliefs were sinners and were bound to go to hell. It was, and still is, quite easy to be persuaded by the Devil, some examples include being gay, trans, Jewish, Muslim, a democrat, not want children, not tithing, playing Dungeons and Dragons, wearing pants if you are a woman, listen to secular music, breathe wrong... the list goes on. All things that deviated from the views of the growing Moral Majority turned into a calculated tabloid sensation that created a real time imaginary world that only served to push their political agenda.

Many of the tabloids were orchestrated in a way that disrupted the white suburban lifestyle institutionalized by the “White flight” of the 1960’s. A good chunk of these rumors was formulated via fear to persuade blue collar workers of the growing divide between them and those who wish to push a liberal agenda. The component of Protestant blue collar workers is important because it is distortional composed of economically stressed people who still held on to traditional American cultural values which affirmed the theology of the Moral Majority. This is still relevant today, I mean look at the voting stats in this years election. Or I don't know listen to you weird uncle who gets his checks garnished talk about how he voted for trump because of "taxes".

There are more blue-collar workers in the nation than televangelist, but the televangelist still persuaded the working class with the teachings of the prosperity gospel because that is the goal of their game. Fear provokes rumors and that was the plan to control the general population at the time. Rumors are created to both satisfy the need to reduce uncertainty and provoke more anxiety. It did not help that at the core of these rumors all held shared beliefs between thousands of people who share the stress of demoralization fronted by Satan.

Besides the views held by the religious right, a book would come out in 1980 that would confirm all the mass rumors surrounding satanic ritual abuse. Now discredited and laughed at, Michelle Remembers is the book that conservative America needed in terms of mass satanic cult confirmation bias. The book was written by “recovered-memory” therapist Lawrence Pazder and details the not-so-true story of his patient and later wife, Michelle Smith. Although the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act was not around at the time the book is straight HIPAA violation after violation. The book is filled with Smith’s accounts of being tortured, sexually abused, and witnessing human sacrifices that she was sometimes forced to be a part of. One of the books many covers plays into the fear of the kidnapped blond-hair blue-eyed child previously discussed, the child is holding a doll surrounded by candles with the eyes of an evil satanist looking down at her ready to sacrifice and consumer her at any given moment. 

Smith’s story set shockwaves and inspired another “victim” of satanic ritual abuse to come forward named Laurel Rose Wilson with her book Satan’s Underground. The two would go on and appear on the Oprah Winfrey show and speak their “truth” and have it confirmed on nationally syndicated television furthering the fears of many. Although both books have been disproven and scrutinized by investigators both books sent a shockwave throughout the globe, with Michelle Remembers being known as the “whistle-blower” book. One of my favorite reviews regarding the book is “Five Baphomet pentagrams for originality and five more for hilarity.” Looking through the lens of today it is easy to call out the embellishments and laugh at Smith and Pazder’s elaborate trolling, but back then this book was truly groundbreaking and instilled more fears in Christian America. DOES THIS SOUND FAMILIAR ARE WE MAKING CONNECTIONS YET! I mean think of all the brain dead idiots on youtube still claiming to be a victim of satanic ritual abuse.

At this point the Satanic panic has surpassed cult rumors and became a real threat to once secure neighborhoods. Parents began to fear for their children's safety when sending them to school, nowhere was safe from the evil grasp of Satanist. One event regarding this would be a product of the rumors and be the catalyst that ceased the Satanic Panic of the 80’s and 90’s. This event is known as the McMartin Preschool Trials which would later become the longest and most expensive series of criminal trials in American history. The story of the trail starts with Judy Johnson claiming her son was sexually molested by McMartin Preschool employee Ray Buckey. Ray Buckey was soon arrested, and a letter was sent out to the about 200 parents who sent their children to the preschool detailing the alleged acts perpetrated by Buckey.

Quickly receiving this letter, the number of children abused by Buckey reached 360. During the investigation claims were getting muddy with Buckey having an array of costumes, branding children, creating child sexual abuse material and dispersing it to others, slaughtering animals, and any other satanic ritual abuse activity. Buckey was not the only one charged in the case, his mother, sister, as well as several other employees were charged with the same counts as well. All together they had 208 counts of abuse that were a product of cult practices. There were even claims of underground tunnels made to traffic children. Eventually it would come out the children were being coached by investigators to make false claims in regard to what happened at the preschool. In the end all charges but 12 were dropped and the preschool was demolished which can serve as a metaphor for the panic in general. Something created out of falsehoods only to be destroyed by factual evidence based. 

Do I believe the Buckey and others involved were abusing children in the name of Satanic Ritual Abuse? No. But I do believe that something must have happened for a child to recount what happened, persuaded by investigators or not. What could have happened to spark such controversy could take the form of many types of abuse, it does not always need to be sexual abuse is abuse. One thing about children is that while yes, they have very active imaginations they also lack awareness of what being abused is like unless they suffered. It is not a concept they are born with so it should be a red flag to an adult when a child says something relating to being abused. Instead of focusing on the real issue of the claims being made, the parents of McMartin Preschool could not face the reality of abuse being perpetrated by a non-Satanic cult affiliated person with bad intentions. I think the idea of parents automatically blaming Satanic ritual abuse is, well to be frank, disgusting. It takes away from the reality of the situation and gives backswords credence to abuse happening inside their bubble. 

That is where the crux of this super mega long text post lies. People have always refused to acknowledge reality outside of their safety nets. When the reality of their constructed world is broken there is no other way to explain it other than fiction with the intent to blame everyone but themselves. Reading this you can not help but make comparisons to today, most notably with that of Q-Anon and Charismatic Fundamentalist. It feels like every week Q-Anon comes up with a new child-trafficking conspiracy like Pizza-gate/Wayfair-gate, turning Jill Biden's panda costume into some symbol of child abuse, thinking a trans predator is awaiting in every women's bathroom, creating child victims with drag queen story time, etc, all while turning a man (Donald Trump) into a god who has been charged numerous times with abuse of a minor along with his sex-trafficker friend (Jeffery Epstein) who certainly did not kill himself.

These hypocrites all preach the same ideas as Falwell and his Moral Majority constituents: that all those who do not follow their path are monsters out to abuse children, when in reality they do not care about the abuse of children. The state of Idaho does not care about children and is actively pushing legislation to make the lives of women and children more difficult every day. Long before the overturning of Roe v Wade, Idaho governor, chud Brad Little supported sentencing women to death for getting an abortion. Shortly after Roe v Wade was overturned, Idaho immediately put an abortion ban in place, making sure to sign “abortion trafficking” laws that would prosecute anyone who crosses state lines and then followed that by eliminating Idaho’s committee dedicated maternal deaths. Eliminating a committee who’s sole purpose was to understand maternal deaths all while OBGYN’s flee the state the to follow that up by cutting $38 million in state funds dedicated to preventing child abuse while also repeatedly killing bills that would put an end to child marriages in a state with one of the highest rates proves the Brad Little and his cronies do not give a single shit about kids. This obviously is not just an Idaho thing but this is a growing trend across the nation. They only care about ownership. They only care about furthering an agenda to keep their world theirs. Thus, they orchestrate lies to control the masses while they themselves turn them into truth. 

For the few who read this I hope you are now informed and also enjoyed this little history lesson that is doomed to repeat itself. We are all aware of the signs of what is to come but stay strong and do not fall into it. They want you to. Be vigilant and be informed.

[justforbooks]

The American No by Rupert Everett

Ideas pitched by the actor down the years that never got the green light are brilliantly recast here as wry short stories… and a script

Not so long ago, Rupert Everett was sitting outside Bar Italia in Frith Street in Soho when the conga line of Hare Krishnas that frequents this part of London appeared from around a corner, jingling their bells like “transcendental morris dancers”. In days gone by, Everett would sometimes recognise a face en route to nirvana: “club world crashes” of his acquaintance often repaired to the Krishnas’ cafeteria, the better, as he puts it, to swap their methamphetamine for cucumber raita. But on this afternoon, he saw no one familiar until, just as the line was about to disappear again, he suddenly caught sight of a producer he’d last seen at the London office of a Hollywood studio.

“Rupert!” exclaimed this man, tambourine in hand. And then: “Hare, hare, hare!” – words that could hardly have been more doleful in context. The fellow in question, a straight white guy of a certain age, had been fired by the studio and, at a complete loss as to what to do next, had duly taken his place in this apricot-tinged, dhoti-wearing human caravan, eager to help broadcast its message of peace, love and saag aloo. Briefly, the two of them talked of a script of Everett’s – it had been rejected by the same studio – and then the line moved off again, until it was only a “swaying smudge” heading towards Chinatown.

Everett’s account of this encounter appears at the beginning of his new book, and it’s full of kindness, even tenderness (“off he ran, backpack bouncing, tiny ankles in large trainers…”). At this point, you realise, his feeling for failure is a writerly gift, throwing a navy shadow over even his funniest and most scabrous lines, with the result that the reader may not know whether to laugh or to cry. But then, as anyone who has read his three memoirs will know, he’s hardly a stranger to disappointment, its cruelty as familiar to the actor and director by now as wig glue and first-night nerves.

He had the idea for his new book in the long moments after the Hare Krishnas passed by. Feeling somewhat on the scrapheap himself, it occurred to him that he might as well turn a few of the ideas he’d pitched down the years – ideas that never got the green light – into short stories. But what is an “American no”? The collection is named after a term, invented by a pal, for the emotionally evasive but nonetheless brutal way Hollywood types have with those who are in search of a commission. In the flesh, they love-bomb you, telling you how “psyched” they are. Once you’re safely elsewhere, however, you’ll never hear from them again – the American no. As titles go, it’s quite perfect. An uncanny bleakness rises from this book, one that brings to mind not only Scott Fitzgerald and Shirley Conran’s Lace, but also the empty, agonising feeling of having been ghosted by a guy you really liked.

It comprises seven stories and a script (the last of which, extraordinarily, is for a TV series based on Proust’s In Search of Lost Time). One has to do with a Paris funeral gone badly wrong, another with a Russian countess, a third with the deathbed confession of a woman who upped and left for India in the 1850s. But the crazed masterpiece of the collection is a long story – almost a novella – called Cuddles and Associates, about a group of struggling actors in 80s Hollywood and what they’ll do (anything!) to survive. If Netflix doesn’t turn it into six episodes, there’s no justice. Think Succession, only with agents and the threat of straight-to-video hanging over everything like LA smog.

In the end, though, I didn’t read The American No for these stories so much as for the bursts of pure Everett, revealed as he introduces each one. Here he is talking to John Schlesinger about what went on in a certain hotel room during the filming of Midnight Cowboy (“I was in heaven”); and here he is fighting for the rights to Graham Greene’s Travels With My Aunt (“each time I inquire of the hard-headed agent I get the same rebuff, while she distributes Greene’s work with abandon for interesting reinterpretations – I’m being polite – like Brighton Rock”).

My love for Everett’s books is hardly a secret. But still, let me say it again. He is a brilliant writer: opulently gossipy as few are these days, but also truthful, witty, wise and stoical. As soon as I have an opportunity, I’ll be quoting him on why older actors “always” overact, but for now, all I can say is that he’s wasted on those fools who turn him down for parts; who fail to return his calls or to read his scripts. If his talent is unwieldy, there’s also tons of it going spare.

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